addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
