im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize