What did we do last night that was yellow?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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