so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
