She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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