Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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