I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize