whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
