He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
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