Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
