Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
