Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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