i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
