Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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