I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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