You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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