evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
