Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
