GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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