forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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