So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
