what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
