I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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