So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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