What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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