so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
