whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
