The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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