y did u give ur computer a hand job?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
