I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
