She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
