I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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