I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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