She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
this hospital has no fireball
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
