im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
