Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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