Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
