so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
