i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
and you fell through a lawn chair
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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