it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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