I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
