just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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