I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
