WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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