I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
you never un-have a 4some
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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