Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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