Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
