If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
