Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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