dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
