Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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