i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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