On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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