wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
