There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
