I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
