You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
