didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
