she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
