Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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