I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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