Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
