My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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