Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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